Waiting and Waiting and Waiting
by DobbyRocksSocks
Summary: Tonks loves Remus for who he is, wolf and all. Will he finally accept him himself?


**Disclaimer - I own nothing you recognise.**

Written for Hogwarts Open Day. Pincushion to Hedgehog, Second Year **\- RemusTonks.**

The Potions Class Competition **\- Calming Draught**

 **Gringotts Prompt Bank**

John Green - TFIOS **\- That's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt.**

Vampire Diaries **\- Life sucks. Get a helmet.**

Orange Is The New Black **\- Do you hear yourself sometimes? Like, when you speak?**

 **Word Count Without AN - 1,183**

* * *

 **Waiting**

* * *

Waiting and waiting and waiting.

Her tears had dried on her face, seconds, minutes, hours ago, but still she didn't move. She wasn't angry. She could understand, even. She knew how much the idea of passing his curse on terrified him. She wasn't angry.

And yet, she thought she probably should be.

He'd shouted at her, told her that it wasn't right, that he'd made a mistake when he agreed to be with her in the first place. That hurt. His words had cut through her like a knife through butter. He hadn't called the baby a mistake, she noticed. Maybe that was why she wasn't angry. Even though she knew she should be.

Waiting and waiting and waiting.

He had to come back, right? As scared as he was, Remus was an honorable man. He wouldn't just leave her. He loved her, didn't he? At least, she thought he did. He said he did. But then, he also said he'd never leave her.

For the first time she cursed the baby inside her. She wanted oblivion. She wanted to drink so that the pain would disintegrate into a haze of alcohol induced happiness. But that's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt. No matter how hard she tried to ignore it, it wasn't going to go away.

Waiting and waiting and -

He came back.

She was surprised and yet not.

Because Remus was an honorable man. But he was also a coward.

Now she was angry.

Perhaps, in his absence, her anger had stayed away, saving itself for the real target, because as he stood in the door way, wet from the rain with a forlorn look on his face, she was furious.

"Hi."

She couldn't believe him. Hi? Was he for real? He walked out on her, leaving her alone and pregnant and fearful that she was never going to see her husband again, and he says Hi? She couldn't put her thoughts into words strong enough to tell him what she thought about that particular word, so she kept her mouth closed, glaring at him.

"I... I'm sorry. I know I... Reacted badly."

He edged into the room, dripping rainwater onto the carpet. She felt a perverse kind of thrill watching him wince when she pulled her wand out, only to spell him warm and dry. Clearly in his 'bad reaction', he'd forgotten he was a wizard as well as a werewolf.

"Thanks."

"You left me."

There was no inflection in her words, just coldness. She couldn't afford to lose her temper. She had a baby to think about.

"I know. I can't tell you how sorry I am. I... I wasn't expecting it, and I just... let's be honest, Dora, it's not the best time to have a baby."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Life sucks, Remus. Get a helmet. It's not supposed to be easy. Things don't always come at the best time, but we make the most of them anyway. We don't run away because things get too hard."

"I know that, dammit. Can't you understand why I'm scared? The baby could have my... it could be like me. I'd never be able to forgive myself."

"Werewolves aren't born, you prat, they're made. Being a werewolf isn't in your DNA. It's an illness of sorts, yes, but you can't pass it on. It's not bloody genetic. I'm hoping stupidity isn't genetic, either."

"You don't know that. You can't know that. It could pass along," Remus argued, and she could see the fire in his eyes, could tell he too was getting angry, but she found she no longer cared. If he couldn't, or rather wouldn't deal with this, then she wasn't sure she wanted him in her babies life anyway. She wanted her baby to have a father to look up to. Someone to be proud of.

Not this... coward of a man in front of her.

"Do you hear yourself sometimes? Like, when you speak? Does your brain engage with your mouth at all? There have been studies done, Remus, it has been proven. It. Is. Not. Genetic."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"You... You knew that? Before? And you didn't tell me? Why the bloody hell did you think I walked out, Dora?"

He was shouting again. She rolled her eyes at him.

"Did you give me a chance to tell you?"

"I.. I mean... Why wouldn't you have told me that before?"

"Never came up in conversation, I guess. If you'd not gone postal earlier, I'd have told you then."

Silence.

"I'm sorry."

"You said."

"I mean it. I'm sorry I walked out instead of talking about it. I'm sorry I ran away."

"I can't keep wondering if you're in this, Remus. I can't keep doubting my importance to you. I can't keep thinking that if I say or do the wrong thing, you'll be out the door. When we got together, I told you that I love you, not in spite of the wolf inside you, but because of it. Because it's a part of you, and I love all of you. If I can accept that part of you, why can't you?"

"I'm a monster."

"No. You're not. But you could turn into one if you don't act your age instead of your shoesize and stand up and be a man. The wolf will only control you if you let it."

Silence.

She stood up and left the room. She was tired of the same old argument, repeating the same old words to him. She cleaned herself up in the bathroom and climbed into bed. If he wanted to join her, he could, but she was done trying to make him accept part of himself. He either would, or he wouldn't.

She heard the stairs creak, then the door let out a quiet whine when he pushed it open then shut it, blocking out the light from the hallway. She didn't turn to watch him getting undressed, she lay still, half hoping he would believe her to already be asleep.

She was tired.

"I know you're away, Dora. You're right. I... I'm ready to accept who, and what, I am. I'll... I want to be someone my child will be proud of. I want to be someone you can be proud of."

She turned to him.

"I'm already proud of you, idiot."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Silence.

A soft kiss.

Silence.

She knew that they would argue again. She hoped it would be about names, and cribs and other things that didn't really matter in the grande scheme of things.

Waiting and waiting and waiting.

This time for something good.

Together.


End file.
